This is a question that Dr Ali Budjanovcanin asks of her students who are learning about Emotional Intelligence. She says “A regret about a situation is often a useful signal that indicates that you could have handled it in a more emotionally intelligent way.” Some examples include:
“I regret agreeing to something I wasn’t really happy about, because I was not assertive enough in putting my views across to others.”
“I regret rushing in and making a decision – only to find I had missed a critical piece of information. It would have been so much better to pay attention to my impulse control and just wait.”
Ali finds this a particularly useful approach to help people understand the reality of emotional intelligence for them, since it is a subject people can grasp intellectually, but struggle to connect fully with emotionally – which is really the whole point.
Ali began her work on emotional intelligence by completing a certification course with Q. Learning in the MHS EQi tool, which qualifies her to use the profile to coach others, beginning with a structured and comprehensive feedback process and returning to the assessment results where relevant over the course of a coaching relationship.
As a Senior Lecturer in Work Psychology and Public Sector Management at King’s Business School, King’s College London, Ali then went on to teach emotional intelligence to undergraduate and masters students, and has now added a variety of programmes to the School’s portfolio, including a executive education programme, Leading with EQ, during which all the participants complete the EQi profile and have a feedback session and coaching from Ali to help them develop their skills. The programme also provides the opportunity for participants to plan strategies for developing their EQ. One student commented:
“It made us realise that through conscious effort we can improve our emotional response to various situations.”
Ali is extending her teaching and study of emotional intelligence – particularly in relation to leadership. One example is her thinking about the phenomenon of emotional contagion – the idea that our moods can be transferred to those around us. This is true of a leader, whose team members will be very aware of and potentially affected by their emotions, whether positive or negative. Leveraging emotional intelligence to help leaders realise the effect they have on their teams is an important aspect of the teaching Ali engages in.
Ali commented: ‘Using the EQi tool has helped me be more mindful in my coaching. It helps me to frame things in a way people understand, and provides us (coach and client) with a lens through which to focus the coaching work more clearly.’
Ali is a shining example of what can be achieved by building on the foundations of EQi certification from Q. Learning.
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