Conversational Listening – Empathising through Emojis’

“We heard from people that they wanted more ways to express themselves on Facebook.” In particular, “they didn’t have a way to express empathy.” Sammi Krug, Facebook Product Manager.

CEO Mark Zuckerberg explained on his own Facebook page, “People wanted to express empathy and make it comfortable to share a wider range of emotions. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the right way to do this with our team. One of my goals was to make it as simple as pressing and holding the Like button. The result is Reactions, which allow you to express love, laughter, surprise, sadness or anger. Love is the most popular reaction so far, which feels about right to me!”

It seems to becoming the “trend” to use these emoji’s instead of direct conversation. Can these new reactions and images have the same impact as direct conversation? Can you really empathise with the person?

An extract from Empathy in our Q Guide, Coaching Over Coffee.

Conversational Listening

Words are a way of communicating our thoughts. This is the tip of the communication iceberg. It is useful, especially when in conjunction with Cicero’s rules for great conversation.

Active Listening

The way your colleague may say things, their body language and their facial expressions convey feelings. Sometimes, they may communicate one thing in words and another in their body language. This betrays that what they are saying may be very different from what they are feeling. The good coach will learn to notice these signs.

Empathic Listening

The deepest level of communication happens when you build a rapport with your colleague. We speak of understanding people intuitively or empathically and we are fully in tune with what they mean when they speak.

This is the level of listening we strive for between coach and colleague. It is hard to achieve and requires a great deal of energy to maintain. Excellent coaching is exhausting! Whether coaching face-to-face or over the telephone, empathetic listening is synonymous with building rapport. You need to get in sync with your colleague quickly, and to monitor the level of rapport throughout the conversation. Colleagues are more likely to trust you and to disclose their challenges or interests if they get an instinctive sense you are focused on and interested in them. Whether you’re appropriately matching their body language, tuning into their breathing, or seeing the world from their point of view, you will be building a connection. You may need to pace the conversation for a little while until you feel you are able to take the lead, and that your colleague will respond to guidance.